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1. |
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There’s a part of me
Camping out in the wilderness
Look hard and see
See it just beneath the surface
CHORUS
I’m trying to suppress and tame this part
Try to keep it underground
But I’m afraid it makes an appearance
So often to avoid profound
Statements that show responsibility
And honor and respect
I try to sustain all that I stand for
But that part is still in my head
Still a big part of me
I’m crafting a monument of my good deeds
The reliance to confide in that’s a well-known trait
But dry sense of humor is trying to interrupt me
Prankster yelling in my ear to throw me off and I can’t get it straight
chorus
Aching
In my head
Making
My efforts dead
Taking
The feel of dread
Waking
Sights that I’ve read
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2. |
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Standing alone in a darkened scene
I glance down at my hands and ignore my shaking knees
A black cat must have crossed my path
Vertigo sets strong and sudden, I fell for my own trap
CHORUS
Spontaneous combustion of coherent thoughts
Shoving a lump in my throat and then tying it into a knot
Throw my subconscious in an eternal abyss
And as I dive after it, I just hope that I won’t miss
The ghost that haunts is a tragic story
No happily ever after, no sculpture of glory
As the pen of sanity scratches out the small details
I’m left with just the vertigo of a dead tale
chorus
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3. |
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When will you snap?
You just don’t have it in you
To fight for yourself
Just a fucking door mat
When will you break?
Are you going to cave soon?
Or stay down in bottom
Of a system that’s trashed?
You’re so flat
So static how can you stand yourself?
Following commands
Who owns you? You can’t even tell!
Can’t say no
Can’t speak up at all
A laryngitis clown
Destined to fall
Stand up and take ownership
Of yourself, can you do that?
It’s so hard for you
Snap!
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4. |
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Sometimes at night when I’m sitting alone
I just start to think to myself:
Someone just died
Somewhere in the world,
Someone just died
And in the midst of this same thought,
As the seconds pass
More people just died
Somewhere in the world,
Someone just died
And one day, that will be me
Someone will be sitting around
And thinking to themselves:
Someone just died
Referring to my death
Until he dies
And then it’ll be him who’s dead
And someone else will think:
Someone just died.
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5. |
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Mid 1700’s England, during which time
Spawns a new young doctor with a dark mind
What happens when you can’t rely on your own memories?
Or even your own perceptions, and you wonder if you’re crazy
CHORUS
He’s always so unwell
A disease of the mind: living a mental hell
And his obsession with pain
Is he truly evil, good, or insane?
It’s a never-ending battle for self control
And the tale of Raw Head and Bloody Bones damns his soul
Are children’s tales of monsters just fantasy?
Or are they a real-life threat? Distinction’s a difficulty
chorus
We are bound to the limits created by our words
Are life, death, reason, insanity truly opposites? To think not would be absurd!
But to think: they are small parts working together for a bigger whole
Everything is reliant on everything else, they aren’t opposites, no matter what is told
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6. |
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I'm so remarkably lazy
I'm not even going to finish this song
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7. |
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I don't care about your world
I don't care about you
I don't care about your world
Or the things that we've been through
It's a test
Of my patience
And I've been blessed
With intolerance
I don't care about your world
I don't care about you
I don't care about your world
Or what you've put me through
The fascination
A standing ovation
The presentation
My island of probation
And I don't care about...
To win this trial
Is extremely vital
Can I get applause?
To win this trial
Will be the final
Victory of this cause
And I don't want to be a casualty of an understatement!
I don't care about your world
I don't care about you
I don't care about your world
Because mine is rid of you
You're forbidden from my island of probation
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8. |
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Putting on all my armor
Waiting for all the bullshit to go through
Waiting for final orders
From my cerebral cortex, anxious to move
Fuck tangible life, I’m going warp speed
Into this mess, too dumb to stop to think
Will I come out alive? Is this what I need?
It’s a liability but I’m tired of worrying
Worrying about outcomes
Independent and inscrutable
Why should I even dwell?
Putting on all my armor
Through the fourth dimension I go through
Waiting for final orders
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9. |
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Hey, girl, I love talking to ya
Your conversations are really neat
I laugh like an idiot to all your jokes
I think you’re beautiful and nice and really sweet
CHORUS
We could run through a meadow of flowers
Lay down, stare at the sky for hours
Any excuse to be with you, I will take
I wanna hold you in my embrace
Oh whoa, yeah
Tell you about all my nerdy likes
And ask you about your day
I love your brain, and though I’m awkward
For you, I’ll keep my social anxiety at bay
chorus
This song may sound funny coming from someone like me
But I’m serious when I say that you’re the best girl that I’ve seen
I’ll confide my thoughts to you and hope you will reciprocate
I’ll live with no regrets, even if I’m not the kind of guy you want to date
I might just be writing
Silly poetry that will go nowhere
But I’m gonna say it all anyway
And release it in the air without a care
chorus
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10. |
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Can't tell if I'm asleep or awake
I feel the same and see the same figments either way
And I can never get to sleep because there's voices in my head
Saying “What would happen if everyone I knew were dead”
I've got to learn my priorities, but the caffeine clogs my veins
Affecting my slumber and the output of my brain
The magnificent aroma of coffee... Damn my weakness!
It's my medicine to get away from the never-ending bleakness
And later in the day, if my sense of time is not mistaken
My body reacts with a sinking feeling of foreboding, leaving me quite shaken
Head floats with ambient daydream, losing focus and attention
Not sure if anyone's talking to me or if it's in my mind's dimension
Deteriorating and rotting for the rest of the day with no rest
Then a burst of energy from an unknown catalyst
Later, another crash with visions of Edgar Allan Poe and HP Lovecraft tales
Fleshed out in a meticulous way, with Stephen King's talent of graphic details
I've got to learn my priorities, but for an insomniac, it's impossible
I can blame it on the caffeine, but it's barely a valid obstacle
I'm a victim of imagination, sleep with one eye open or I'll succumb
But I can't sleep with either eye open, a paranoid sentry's what I've become
I see what isn't there and what isn't there must be real
Unless the reality I live is a dream, because it's so surreal
I forget everything because I can't concentrate
Make a pile of my paranoias and watch them accumulate
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11. |
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Sparse landscape, barren in the eyes of the beholder
Hold onto your last wish and cling to your life
Existence just distracts us from the true message
In this portal we're suspended in, orbiting with the satellites
Home is a vague word, do the fallen have a home?
The living proceed so luxuriously, an envy to withstand
Looking at it like watching film
Yearning to replace from this undead contraband
The caskets are cold from the neglect they endure
The tombs are lonely from the visits they miss
The dead are restless in their resting places
Feeling so illegal in their so-called “bliss”
Smuggled into an unknown ground
Burial grounds for the honored guests
Honor getting lost in translation
The dead then ashamed of the living: the dead don't jest
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12. |
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Some kind of question, a terrible disease
I wonder what you meant when you said, “Follow me”
Do I really think these words when you think about your time?
It’s the secret that we have locked inside the mind
CHORUS
But wait, I say, I hate to admit, but there’s no confession
So far, they are, but if they’re not, then I don’t know anymore
Safer decisions stalk the table top of war
Study the hall and forget about the tour
As if I wanted to see you, but I couldn’t wait to see you
You know what I meant, if I think I know, too
chorus
Rasalgethi and I surf the stars
And Jupiter jumps the moon
The earth has stopped all cars
And Saturn rises at noon
As if the stars worked, what if the stars stopped working?
chorus
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13. |
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I picked some black roses
Just for you
I thought they would look good
Next to your tomb
May your spirit be at rest
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14. |
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I am the forgotten one, who’s dead but now unblind
And I can see no other way, so let my memoirs intertwine
I freed a monarch of deception and treason
Not sure of anything, but now I’m out this season
I would say a formal good-bye
Because I am afraid that would not be a lie
There’s no point indulging in eye for an eye
When you are your only foe and ally
Land of the dead, where I now roam undisturbed
It just disturbs me how “nothing’s” such an empty word
And Death is taken for granted, no one really knows
But now I guess I don’t have to worry, I’m all alone
I am here, my time is done
I haven’t gotten used to it, it’s not yet fun
Locked in the unknown, left without a face
No one to assist me in this chase
And I don’t know how it happened
So don’t ask me
I’ve learned to see in the dark
Am I free?
I’m anxious for what’s in store
I’m hoping
Everything will end up fine
So stop moping
Or am I just talking to myself?
Am I just under some kind of spell?
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15. |
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Another attack against humanity
Self parody sucked in by gravity
Give them a warm smile, show them class
Give a sick excuse, you know you’ll pass
You’ll pass through them
You’ve got a disease, you’re so unwell
A virus that doesn’t affect your health
It’s all about your money and who your parents are
Since you’ve never been disciplined, you can’t go behind bars
You’ll pass through them
You’ll go free again
Too rich to go to jail
Your parents say you’re fine
Just wave your wealth in front of them
Manipulate their minds
You argue since you always get what you want
You can’t comprehend consequences, it’s your ignorance that you flaunt
But ignorance is no excuse against the law
If you were poor, you would have fallen into the maw
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16. |
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What a disaster
You flunked again
This time was faster
With a larger dent
It’s easy to laugh
At your mistakes
It takes me back
Makes me shake
Here’s a tip
For your clumsy act
Next time skip
Tries with what you lack
You make me sick and entertained
Props for the mix
Your mixed up in your shame
Your pain left unfixed
I wonder
What you’re going for
Are you under
A dream of sorts?
Can I shake your hand
Praise you face to face?
No thanks, Failure man
I’d rather slap you in the face
Get that smirk out of view
Your awkward “oh, well” grin
Tell me what you went through
You didn’t win
Sore loser
Where’s your sportsmanship?
Contest abuser
See that? Your odds are flipped
You failed, you lost, your opportunity was tossed
I laugh some more, one defeat and now you’re so sore
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17. |
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CHORUS
Just look at the simplified version of things
Take out the vague themes, it’s the song we sing
Because provocation of thought is what we hate
And with that opinion in mind, we worsen our fate
A ready mind for the things to come
All we need to do is put together the sum
All division does is isolate few from few
We need to come together with some similar views
chorus
We need to think
Think for ourselves
Take advantage of your brain
Use it before it melts
All labels do is try to limit your focus
Whether it’s a political party or a clique it’s just like a swarm of locusts
Just following everyone else, fallen into a bias flow
I’d rather not subject to this, it’s not the way I go
chorus
Don’t be afraid
What the fuck people say
Who said you needed their approval anyway?
Take advantage of your brain
Use it before it melts
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18. |
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I hate arguing with you
I just can’t get through
To your closed mind
You always correct my lines
You always think you’re right
Won’t ever look at my side
And what did I expect?
I guess my brain has a defect
Because arguing with myself
Was the dumbest idea I ever made
I can’t argue with myself
I’m so damn stubborn, I’ll never cave
Not even to myself
Arguing with myself
I can’t intimidate my view through
I can’t argue with myself
It resulted in a fight, now my eye is blue
Black and blue
And now all my friends think I’m crazy
They think I’ve lost my mind
They say I need to seek help
I just brush them off while I find
A proper rebuttal to my argument
If I think I’ve won, I’ve got another thing coming
Please shut up, stop singing this song
I am right because I am wrong
I came out last because I am in the lead
Stop bitching, it makes my ears bleed
Yeah, well you’re stupid
Well, you totally suck
At least I’m not the one who talks to themselves and insults themselves all the time. Oh, wait….
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19. |
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20. |
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Pen’s mightier than the sword
And I’m battling ideas on the page
Paper cuts, casualties, a forgotten score
Results promising, destination: lost rage
CHORUS
Performance of words and perceptions
Telling a history through creation
Painting pictures in an indirect way
Be able to get across what you’re trying to say
Audience’s imagination just as essential
To the writer’s, both rely on each other
Meaningful words, aching to be influential
Hope to God misinterpretation doesn’t smother
chorus
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21. |
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I'm acting like it's nothing
Because frankly it's really nothing
And I can't seem to get a grip
On the concept
My point of view's been whack
With all the codes that need to be cracked
And I don't feel different
At all
But that's a cartoonish synopsis
On my current analysis
Blisters and callouses
Are slowly growing without my notice
And that's a stupid metaphor
And what is it really for?
A song to convince myself
Something or other oh whoa
And it's not like it's a potent message
Of some kind of strong hidden presage
It is what it is, just a concept
And that's all it will ever be
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22. |
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I have a tendency
To make up my own words
I bet you wish you could do the same
And have it work just like me
People don't even notice
What do you say to that?
You're a cat, you're a cat
You wouldn't even know anyway
So why am I asking you?
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23. |
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You really are listening to this
This song is not a hallucination
Why are you listening to this?
I’m surprised this doesn’t fill you with indignation
Well, give me criticism, do you like my songs?
Is this catchy or am I wrong?
How are you not crazy? Long term exposure can result in
Schizophrenia, delusions, and an attraction to metal and tin
But this song is not a hallucination
But the giant rabbit sitting across from me may be
I tell you this song’s no hallucination
Though a real delusion of yours could be me
Well, I’m not not crazy, I’m just a little strange
Keep your mind open for a little bit of change
‘Cause I know you usually never listen to this kind of music
Or maybe you do, but just in case I’ll change this to acoustic
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24. |
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I understand
It’s perfectly clear to me
Do your own thing
Follow your own dreams
You don’t need my acceptance
I would be selfish to feel otherwise
I will give encouragement
It’s the perfect compromise
And maybe then you’ll see
It really doesn’t bother me
What bothers me is when someone
Feels so insecure, they believe
That they should stop themselves
From doing what they want because of somebody else
Don’t ask me
For my approval
Don’t ask anyone
It’s confidence removal
You don’t need my acceptance
I would be selfish to feel otherwise
I will give encouragement
It’s the perfect compromise
And I want you to have confidence
I want you to believe in yourself
I’ll be damned if you don’t follow through
Let the force go through without anyone’s help
I will clap my hands
I will understand
I would never disapprove
Because it’s only your move
You don’t need my acceptance
I would be selfish to feel otherwise
I will give encouragement
It’s the perfect compromise
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25. |
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Dumbfounded at the fact
No one even had to act
A spectacular turn of events
Plot twist to give accent
Everything has gone backwards
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26. |
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Get your nicest tie
Get matching suit jacket and pants
Don't forget the suit shirt, guy
There exists no current occasion or dance
Just suit up
Suit up
Don't look like a slob
At least sometime show you have a little class
Wanna get a date or maybe a job?
Get a suit and you won't even have to ask
Just suit up
Suit up
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27. |
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Rant, rant, rant, rant
Rant, rant, rant, rant
Rant, rant, rant, rant
Blegghhh!
I’m a rant machine
With unlimited power source
There’s no way to unplug me
No way to weaken my force
It’s my method of calling action
To fix what needs to be improved
Hoping to help cause a catalyst
So things will finally move
CHORUS
(Rant, rant, rant, rant)
Rant machine
Rant machine
Using as many words I can
To convey what I mean
Rant machine
Rant machine
Nothing’s safe from my ravings
I’ll even rant about me!
chorus
Ramblings (blah blah)
Complaints (blah blah)
Excessive language (blah blah)
Rant machine!
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28. |
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Sauntering around a museum of all my wrongs
All those times that I just had to stay strong
So many portraits of all that I’ve done
And the mannequins, reaching out for someone
CHORUS
I remember all the people who cared
I remember all the music I’ve blared
All the places that I’ve ever been
Sometimes it scares the shit out of me and sometimes I grin
Contemplating about all the stuff that I’ve learned
Thankful for all of the knowledge I’ve earned
All the books I’ve read and the movies I’ve seen
It’s flooding to me, and I don’t know what it means
chorus
It’s so sentimental, but it’s all fine
I’ve come close to memorizing all of the lines
It’s profound
And it never becomes unwound
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29. |
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Your life is a lie, so many questions still unanswered
And your lack of response is so stimulating
The pillars rest high, towering over you
But you pretend there’s nothing waiting
For your return back to Hell
Just assuming that’s where you live
It suits you, I can tell
‘Cause you don’t know how to give
I’m wondering around, hoping for replies from anyone
And my guts leap from my throat
Listen to the declines sometime, you might learn something
About yourself that has everyone’s vote
I don’t want to know you
Must I say it again?
There’s too much to go through
I would never be your friend
Drinking soda just to make the time fly by
Throwing the cans at some passing guy
What the hell is wrong with you? Has anyone ever asked?
Just trying to ignore you is such an exhausting task
And you think everything’s planned out so well
You’ll be the best without any of your own help
Because your life is a lie, can’t wait to see your face
When someone finally puts you in your place
I don’t want to know you
Shit, man, can’t you see?
Stop bitching, you’re just plain rude
And I don’t want you to know me
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Compilation of demos recorded from 2011 to 2014 showcasing Last Year's Disaster's best recordings thus far.
released November 14, 2014